Remember when 0x1=LOVESONG dropped in 2021 and ruled the summer as we collectively came of age with the TXT guys? It feels like some sort of sick joke that a group known for their consistent, heartfelt output has been seeing diminishing returns for the past few years and has therefore resorted to Y/N-baiting absolutely nobody on this pitiful last resort of a track. Leave this shit to your vampire cohorts, we want you to explore your horrifying loreful world and we want you to do so with dignity and care! We do not care whether Soobin craves physical touch, nor if Beomgyu prefers acts of service. Please stop showing me your emaciated torsos, I come to you for adolescent angst, not this. It doesn't help that this sounds like shit, too…that skittering pinball beat is anxiety-inducing, and the HYBE vocal mix is airy and crackly as ever. If the creative team has lost interest, disband expeditiously, I can't take much more of this.

With a unique sonic palette that immediately caught my attention, I had high hopes for this track. Sure, it has some good moments regardless of its length and bare-bones approach to production and songwriting…listen to that first drop, isn't that satisfying? Well, they don't build on that whatsoever, repeat the same trick twice, and inexplicably end with the intro, which has little to do with the rest of the song melodically. This trend of songs that barely cross the two-minute mark is concerning, especially when there are exactly three musical ideas stretched across those two minutes.

I don't really have much to say about the Dream releases despite them being my SM faves. Imagine missing the creative direction of smoothie lol. Anyways, this song is pretty funny because if you pretend it's about beating off and/or fucking like a madman, it suddenly becomes so concerning. Like what do you MEAN pepper spray? Yeahhhh touch bodies nicely SIKE we're beating it up. “Easy to say, it's harder to do” me trying to reach orgasm through the haze of SSRIs. Also, I don't think Jaemin should ever be on a song like this, it's really scary, but that's just me.

Y'know, I'm not sure why I expect Woozi to make decent creative decisions at this point, he's so deeply wedged between Hoshi’s ass cheeks that I'm not sure we can get him back out. The hook of this song is actually really fun and the general vibe nailed that early 2010s grease a lot better than most of its competitors, but…dude, this MIX…that prechorus where poor alcoholic Seungkwan is crying out for help in the midst of a crowd who all speak in static…actually, this song sounds exactly like its album cover. The first time they do the hook, I'm like OKAYYYYYYYYYY kind of a banger, but then the beautiful siren vocal of DK appears for a moment, drenched in grey HYBE sludge like the ghost of a past lover, and you remember what was sacrificed to get to THUNDER. Was this really worth it?

I love Enhypen as kpops. They're all cutie pies and my little guys, and I want them to kiss each other and be swaddled in little blankets in a warm, safe place, forever. However, that does not mean that they always drop peak. Sure, their ratio of hits:misses is higher than most of their peers, but that still means they miss sometimes, just like all of us. The choice to cover Imagine Dragons’ “Demons” wasn't the dumbest, for the record. I think that conceptually, “Demons” plays with a lot of the same themes that crop up in Enhypen's music, and if rearranged to suit their voices, it could be an affecting piece! However, this is basically a 1:1 recreation of “Demons”. None of the Enhypen boys have the ability to yell the way Dan Reynolds does…none of them are able to deploy that religiously-traumatized warble…and thus, the cover falls on its face pretty much immediately and never recovers. It is, objectively, quite a funny listen. Heeseung is performing vocal styles never before seen on this planet. I love Niki so much.

I really thought RIIZE were going somewhere after “Impossible”. I guess they *went* somewhere, I just…don't really understand where this is… This dramatic, wobbly, nauseating track about being in one’s bag… it’s a little NCT 127-esque with that beautiful bridge and those keys… but WHY?! It doesn't help that this year my goal was to walk 10km per day, and for the latter half of the year, I had to do so with an extremely heavy backpack due to work/living situation stuff. And yes, I did almost break my back. So to me, it seems like RIIZE foresaw my immediate future and tried to warn me. But alas, I was in my bag, counting up my steps…

This song opens with inhuman retching and just does not let up for its entire two-and-a-half-minute runtime. BOYNEXTDOOR cry out in pain and/or excitement again on the chorus, that sound you heard at the beginning wasn't a fluke, nor an accident! That's really part of the hook! It sounds like a monkey being repeatedly poked with a cattle prod. The whole track goes at an absolutely breakneck pace with an unhinged, foaming-at-the-mouth sense of urgency and excitement, so if you need like, a really effective alarm…this might be the song for you. I do have to admit that of the boy groups whose members I'm unfamiliar with, BOYNEXTDOOR are probably the ones I'd be most interested in, purely by virtue of their consistently insane studio performances. Last year's Earth Wind and Fire also saw them babbling nonsense and frothing at the mouth, and that was one of my favorite songs that year.

Top 10 #LYRIX in this song are as follows:

10 . “I'm like a superpower laser up on the stage”
9 . “I lit up the vibe, I'm the maker”
8 . “Mmm mm mm mm mmm let's go”
7 . “Hey you, stop lurking babe”
6 . “I’m so extro, my vibe’s so free…I take your vibe, I don't even see”
5 . “We're at the peak…peek at your face!”
4 . “mama and papa don't worry na domino”
3 . “Why are u smilin’, babe, I'm not superman!”
2 . “Straight up please, one sparkling whoaaa”
1 . “Untouchable move like luger man”